Backwards In High Heels

Bye, Bye Bonnie

Last night saw the first BB7 eviction, and it was no shock to see Bonnie be given the boot.

Q: What's the difference between Bonnie and a truck?
A: A truck can be articulated

The poor youngster seemed nice enough but was out of her depth in the Big Brother house.  The rare times we heard her speak it was littered with yeahs, buts and whatevers. She sounded like a Catherine Tate sketch, only with the jokes removed.

She obviously worried about whether the others spoke the same language as she finished most sentences with a worried 'do you get me?' Sadly, no, they didn't get her.

It was if she spoke on a different frequency to the other housemates, she looked to try and join in but they seemed never to hear her which made me really feel for her. We've all had that feeling of not fitting in. She was having that feeling in front of a few million viewers poor kid.

 

Tech Tags: Big+Brother, BB7, Bonnie, Eviction, Catherine+Tate

You Said It, Pete

Big Brother producers have come under fire from some camps for the inclusion of Pete (left) who has Tourettes Syndrome. Some see this as exploitation or worry he will become a figure of fun. Others think it will raise awareness (if you would like to learn more about Tourettes you can visit The Tourette Syndrome (UK) Association)

My worry is that Pete may be reduced by the media/fans/audience to being nothing more than a Tourettes sufferer - he is obviously the sum of much more than that one aspect and hope that shines through for him. So far (Day Six) he seems a reasonably together young bloke, good natured, fun and comfortable in his own skin.

So far there is no time to worry about/make fun of/exploit Pete because of the housemates in front of him in the Big Brother queue of freakdom.

Shabaz is proving to be a sandwich short of a picnic. A cringeworthy am-dram Queen, he has alienated the rest of the group in record time. Newsflash (ie someone shouting from downstairs - Shabaz has left the Big Brother house by the rear. I said he'd disappear up his own back passage)

The identikit 'young and beautiful' have paired off to form combined IQs which are almost as high as the topiary man in the garden. It's like sedate Club 18-30.

Dawn has spent most of her time exercising and working up a sweat. A reasonable past-time in the confined and boring house atmosphere I hear you say. But she hasn't had a bath or shower since last Thursday. Ewww, ewww, Pepe Le Pew.

Lea or as I like to think of her the Fallen Madonna With the Big Boobies, asked if anyone had bubble bath to help her hide her modesty in the bath as she didn't want to upset her 11 year old son. Hope he wasn't tuned in when she described her porn career then....

No, Pete shouldn't worry about his Tourette outbursts, especially the "wankers". It's probably being echoed in living rooms up and down the country which have Big Brother on and our only excuse is voyeurism.

Tech Tags: Big+Brother, BB7, Tourettes+Syndrome, Pete, Shabaz, Lea, Dawn, topiary,

Big Brother - Resistance is Futile

Bar Big Brother 2, I have watched every series of Big Brother and have every intention of watching BB7 which started last night. Not for me the snobbery that surrounds reality TV. I'm not even going to try and defend the hypocrisy of it all.

No, I shall watch and pass judgement on people I have never, never want to, nor never will meet. I will pass rude, crass, hurtful personal comments on the latest inhabitants of the freak show. I will form allegiances with these televisual commodities on such burning arguments as who pee'd in the shower. I will get hot and bothered if anyone dare to bad-mouth my favourite (the position of 'favourite' is liable to change frequently, without prior notification).

Of the 14 housemates that entered last night my opinions are just on simmer at the moment. The producers have had the usual checklist to hand and ensured there's a white one, black one, asian one, foreign one, gay one, straight one, not-so-sure one, old one (ie over 30 in BB terms), young one, posh one, common one, sexist one etc etc etc 

Amongst the girls they have one that wants to be on tv or under a footballer (hoping one position leads to another by default I assume). Another is a beauty queen which means she can walk with a tiara on. One of the boys can probably do that anyhow as he is blue blood and it's a skill that probably comes in his genetic code.

Then there's the one with the big boobies, 30M to be precise. Just looking at them could give you a nosebleed. I think she'll get a magazine deal when she comes out as National Geographic will surely want to scale the east face of her left breast. She also says she is 35 years old. I don't want to be rude but what is she calculating that in? Jupiter years?

Blimey, less than 24hours in and it's brought out all my nastiness already. Well like wind, probably better out than in.

If you are itching to join the housemates you could if you find a golden ticket in your kit kat. Of course I wouldn't write anything nasty about you. Promise.

Tech Tags: Big+Brother, BB7, golden+ticket, kit+kat, reality+tv