Bar Big Brother 2, I have watched every series of Big Brother and have every intention of watching BB7 which started last night. Not for me the snobbery that surrounds reality TV. I'm not even going to try and defend the hypocrisy of it all.
No, I shall watch and pass judgement on people I have never, never want to, nor never will meet. I will pass rude, crass, hurtful personal comments on the latest inhabitants of the freak show. I will form allegiances with these televisual commodities on such burning arguments as who pee'd in the shower. I will get hot and bothered if anyone dare to bad-mouth my favourite (the position of 'favourite' is liable to change frequently, without prior notification).
Of the 14 housemates that entered last night my opinions are just on simmer at the moment. The producers have had the usual checklist to hand and ensured there's a white one, black one, asian one, foreign one, gay one, straight one, not-so-sure one, old one (ie over 30 in BB terms), young one, posh one, common one, sexist one etc etc etc
Amongst the girls they have one that wants to be on tv or under a footballer (hoping one position leads to another by default I assume). Another is a beauty queen which means she can walk with a tiara on. One of the boys can probably do that anyhow as he is blue blood and it's a skill that probably comes in his genetic code.
Then there's the one with the big boobies, 30M to be precise. Just looking at them could give you a nosebleed. I think she'll get a magazine deal when she comes out as National Geographic will surely want to scale the east face of her left breast. She also says she is 35 years old. I don't want to be rude but what is she calculating that in? Jupiter years?
Blimey, less than 24hours in and it's brought out all my nastiness already. Well like wind, probably better out than in.
If you are itching to join the housemates you could if you find a golden ticket in your kit kat. Of course I wouldn't write anything nasty about you. Promise.
Well, all I can say is, if she is 35, then I'm still 29.
Posted by: Kate | 20 May 2006 at 03:35 PM
I refuse to watch BB period. I will no longer buy any Kitkats either.What a load of pretentious prats they all look. I really do wish we could get away from such TV.
Thank goodness for my PC.
Rant over..
Posted by: joss | 20 May 2006 at 06:27 PM
I don't watch the reality shows, but I can understand why you do. It is much more polite to laugh and sneer at the asses on television rather than the ones we know in real life. The people who go on television know they are asses beforehand; most of our acquaintances haven't a clue.
Posted by: Adm. Pooper | 20 May 2006 at 06:59 PM
By the way, does the woman with the fake bosom tip over often? All that rubber must be quite heavy.
Posted by: Adm. Pooper | 20 May 2006 at 07:02 PM
I watched the first BB and loved it. But I decided it sucked up too much life, and only watched bits of the 2nd and 3rd ones. After that it's all a blur - I didn't watch any of them and any time I caught any of it, all the people seemed so entirely hateful that I couldn't stand to watch. So this year, I finally decide to join in with the rest of society and watch, and everyone I know has decided NOT to. Bloody typical.
Posted by: Katie | 22 May 2006 at 10:22 AM
'She' looks like she has a five-o-clock shadow, and I don't mean under the boobs!!
Posted by: digi-birder | 26 May 2006 at 12:27 PM