Backwards In High Heels

I Doubt Jade Can Spell Racist...

It’s all gone pear shaped in Celebrity Big Brother. On the outside (don’t start singing the theme to Prisoner Cell Block H) a media and now political furore is taking place over the alleged racism aimed at Shilpa.

Well I said before this year wasn’t pleasant viewing. Jade and her lackies Danielle and Jo have formed themselves into the most dislikable band of bitchy harpies whose venom is directed at Shilpa. They are the most repugnant waste of spaces.

Personally I see much of their behaviour as bullying and the racial overtones come from the easiest difference to pick at Shilpa for these low lives is her race and cultural differences. I think their bullying behaviour is driven by envy, ignorance and oddly enough arrogance. I suspect if an English upper-class, better educated, attractive, successful woman was in there instead of Shilpa, she would be treated in a similar manner.

I’m really disappointed that Jo has been part of this – I thought better of her. The witches, and their boy warlock Jack, are a prime example of the common and thick pond life that for some bizarre reason are ‘celebrities’ – it must stop, come on people time for a backlash.

Let’s celebrate people with talent and manners - neither of which is dependant on social class! I am a huge snob, not based on social class but on manners and I make no apology for it.

The powerbrokers in this scenario are Cleo and Ian who rock between the two groups. If one of them were to stand up and call Jade and her minnows on their actions they could walk this show but sadly they are fence sitting.

Shilpa is amazing in her grace and decorum and I truly hope she wins this show whereas Jade is an argument for eugenics. 

Celebrity+Big+Brother, Big+Brother, CBB, Jade+Goody, Shilpa, bullying, celebrity

Is that my teeth bleeding?

(Before I start - many thanks to all who've sent me messages after mentioning I'm not 100% - you guys are fab and have really helped!)

Now to the important stuff....Celebrity Big Brother

What an odd bunch we have in there this year and I'll just jump in with a few views!

Leo Sayer has left the building and thank goodness as I was very close to hijacking a JCB and ramraiding the egotistical little twerp. He turned out to be the most deluded, fame obsessed contestant ever and to make matters worse as he talked non-stop he would fall into speaking about himself in the third person. In Leo's world everyone loves him, he is up there in the English music legacy with Elton and The Beatles. He left after a series of sulks culminating in the fact the producers would not send in clean pants as he, as a celebrity, could not be demeaned to the point of washing his own smalls in the Big Brother house.

If this series is to be made into a feature film, after his superb rendition of Gollum in the LOTR, I'd recommend Andy Serkis to play deluded hobbit Leo. Tosspot.

There was a singer called Donny Tourettes in, he walked too. Donny with delusions of being Jonny Rotten but more spoilt rotten of middle England. Yes Donny keep stomping your feet and swearing, you'll get Mummy's attention. Tosspot.

Then they sent in the Goody clan with Queen of Big Brother Jade Goody, her mother Jackiey and boyfriend Jack. Jack hasn't said anything, done anything - in fact I think he is a physics anomaly and actually doesn't exist. He also wanked onto Jade's leg in bed, mmmm classy and literally, a tosspot.

There are few positives to be had in this series but let's try. Jermaine Jackson is coming across as very kind, gentle and calm man. Dirk Benedict, who was my heartthrob as a child when he was in the A-Team, seems quite together and down to earth though faintly misogynist at times.

Jo, from S Club 7, is totally unaffected to the point of perhaps being boring for this series but I like her as she wants to run an animal sanctuary and on that alone I can identify with her.

Danielle is what is known as a WAG - a football player's wife/girlfriend for readers outside the UK. She is a 23 year old beauty queen who at first appears to have the IQ of a pea but I believe she is playing the dipsy bimbo to an extent. She won brownie points with me when she questioned Leo who was moaning that he wasn't as well off as he should be after working so hard (he being soo famous and important in the music industry). Danielle pointed out he said he lived in a house worth £3million and miners who do work just as hard still live in terrace houses, didn't he think they might think they've worked hard and deserve a bit more?

Shilpa is a Bollywood actress, supposedly the Indian version of Angelina Jolie. She is extremely beautiful and without trying rubs the other girls up the wrong way, I feel rather sorry for her at times.

Cleo was Kenny Everetts side kick in the 80s and is coming across as a beautiful woman inside and out - anyone else think she looks like Juliette Binoche?

Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins came out before coming in. Aw bless, we had sort of guessed love! He seems quite personable, perhaps a little bit too nice.

I can't see where this series is going and wouldn't bet on a winner yet but if nothing else when you are feeling a bit under par yourself or the morning is grey, the mind numbing panacea of watching celebrities in captivity remains a joy to behold.

Celebrity+Big+Brother, Big+Brother, Leo+Sayer, Jade+Goody, Reality+TV, WAG, Shilpa, CBB,

I Give In!

I’m not usually so defeatist but here I am waving the white flag and declaring my rights under the Geneva Convention.

I cannot take Big Brother anymore. Are you happy Big Brother producers? You have broken me, I give up. I was so proud of my ability to turn my brain off and enjoy the numbing effects of reality tv but even I have a limit.

Over the past eleven weeks or however many weeks it has been, I’ve lost all temporal awareness, after being subjected to 22 reality TV wannabes. Trainee psychiatrists aren’t exposed to that many head cases in such a concentrated time.

There is a little bit of joy to be had from the eviction process when the public votes by phone and the housemates are released back into the wild under the watchful eye of Heat Magazine to be dispersed and continue the Z-list celebrity breeding programme.

But no, now the producers have decided after the public spent money kicking them out, they would just represent the ejected housemates, like a bouncing cheque, to be voted back in. But it’s okay the money this time round goes to charity. Pah, what a cop out. I’d rather the old housemates continued their descent into media oblivion and I promise to put a pound in the next charity box I see, honest guv.

Two favourites to go back in are busty Lea and tantrum throwing Nikki, both of whom can be summed up by one word….

SuperCallousFragileBitchesQuakingWithNeurosis

Yeah, yeah, I wrote the post purely so I could use the word I made up…

I don’t get out much you know.

Tech Tags: Big+Brother, BB7, Lea, Nikki, Reality+TV