Is that my teeth bleeding?

(Before I start - many thanks to all who've sent me messages after mentioning I'm not 100% - you guys are fab and have really helped!)

Now to the important stuff....Celebrity Big Brother

What an odd bunch we have in there this year and I'll just jump in with a few views!

Leo Sayer has left the building and thank goodness as I was very close to hijacking a JCB and ramraiding the egotistical little twerp. He turned out to be the most deluded, fame obsessed contestant ever and to make matters worse as he talked non-stop he would fall into speaking about himself in the third person. In Leo's world everyone loves him, he is up there in the English music legacy with Elton and The Beatles. He left after a series of sulks culminating in the fact the producers would not send in clean pants as he, as a celebrity, could not be demeaned to the point of washing his own smalls in the Big Brother house.

If this series is to be made into a feature film, after his superb rendition of Gollum in the LOTR, I'd recommend Andy Serkis to play deluded hobbit Leo. Tosspot.

There was a singer called Donny Tourettes in, he walked too. Donny with delusions of being Jonny Rotten but more spoilt rotten of middle England. Yes Donny keep stomping your feet and swearing, you'll get Mummy's attention. Tosspot.

Then they sent in the Goody clan with Queen of Big Brother Jade Goody, her mother Jackiey and boyfriend Jack. Jack hasn't said anything, done anything - in fact I think he is a physics anomaly and actually doesn't exist. He also wanked onto Jade's leg in bed, mmmm classy and literally, a tosspot.

There are few positives to be had in this series but let's try. Jermaine Jackson is coming across as very kind, gentle and calm man. Dirk Benedict, who was my heartthrob as a child when he was in the A-Team, seems quite together and down to earth though faintly misogynist at times.

Jo, from S Club 7, is totally unaffected to the point of perhaps being boring for this series but I like her as she wants to run an animal sanctuary and on that alone I can identify with her.

Danielle is what is known as a WAG - a football player's wife/girlfriend for readers outside the UK. She is a 23 year old beauty queen who at first appears to have the IQ of a pea but I believe she is playing the dipsy bimbo to an extent. She won brownie points with me when she questioned Leo who was moaning that he wasn't as well off as he should be after working so hard (he being soo famous and important in the music industry). Danielle pointed out he said he lived in a house worth £3million and miners who do work just as hard still live in terrace houses, didn't he think they might think they've worked hard and deserve a bit more?

Shilpa is a Bollywood actress, supposedly the Indian version of Angelina Jolie. She is extremely beautiful and without trying rubs the other girls up the wrong way, I feel rather sorry for her at times.

Cleo was Kenny Everetts side kick in the 80s and is coming across as a beautiful woman inside and out - anyone else think she looks like Juliette Binoche?

Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins came out before coming in. Aw bless, we had sort of guessed love! He seems quite personable, perhaps a little bit too nice.

I can't see where this series is going and wouldn't bet on a winner yet but if nothing else when you are feeling a bit under par yourself or the morning is grey, the mind numbing panacea of watching celebrities in captivity remains a joy to behold.

Celebrity+Big+Brother, Big+Brother, Leo+Sayer, Jade+Goody, Reality+TV, WAG, Shilpa, CBB,

Comments

[china blue]

Jack is as thick as two clods of shit. When Jade was distraught over Jackiey's sudden eviction, he didn't rush to her side to comfort her - he sat there like a plant and was probably thinking, 'Is someone crying? What comes after D in the alphabet?'

Still would, though.

[St Jude]

I agree about Jack, he has the personality of a yucca plant. I would however tempt to say that Jade might be on to win again! I don't know, but the public for some reason seem to have taken to her.

[Kate]

I haven't seen BB, but I saw Leo Sayer on something else a few years ago and he did seem to be an annoying little prat. And what's all this about his pants? Surely he could have packed enough to last if he didn't want to wash them.

[Ms Mac]

Leo certainly didn't endear himself to many people with his diva-esque ramblings. Poor little love, imagine being locked in that house with all of those non-deserving-of-celeb-status plebs. What a tit!

[Attila the Mom]

Good grief---Leo Sayer. I haven't heard that name in eons.

Now I'm going to have his chirpy little song stuck in my head....