Poking Piss With A Cotton Wool Bud

Cat piss, a telephone connection, vodka and a cotton wool bud....you just know that adds up to an afternoon of fun.

I got back in the gym this morning after an almost three week lay off with stomach problems and pounding migraines. Ooh what fun it was to describe that to Dan my trainer whilst attempting to retain any level of dignity. And, as the day wore on I stayed at the bottom end of business.

Even though Dan was very kind to me today, I still came home with a mild headache, which seems to happen when I exercise after a lay off. So my mood was just teetering on the brink of humour by-pass when I was faced with the telephone joining me in less than perfect working order.

The phone would ring just once and then cut itself off. A line test showed it wasn't the line into the house. The problem was within my own walls.

The next part of this aromatic tale is somewhat embarrassing. All the cats are very well behaved and clean. I am extremely proud that ours is a house that would bring a smile to the face of Kim and Aggie. The vacuum cleaner is always in overdrive in this house, the duster is rarely idle and good friends are forced to come round to do the independent sniff test. I may be a cat lady, I don't want to smell like a cat lady.

But one cat has got a little stressed lately, after the arrival of a stray tomcat in the area, and this led him to be very naughty and spray the telephone connection box at the bottom of the stairs. This was a code red situation - the SAS of cleaning fluids was dispatched.

However, some spray had infiltrated the connection box and so I have spent the afternoon on my hands and needs, surrounded my screwdrivers and paper towels. Cotton wool buds were dipped in vodka and every nook and cranny was de-pissed with precision. 

The phone now rings like church bells, that's vodka for you.

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My thanks for all the suggestions for more verses for all occasions - may my creative juices flow as freely as my cat's urine.

Tech Tags: cat+piss, cleaning, vodka,

Comments

[Adm. Pooper]

I would have thought the vodka was for you. Then again, it wouldn't help your headaches. Poor woman.

[joss]

Crikey! I would have drank the Vodka, sod the phone only ringing once.

[Kate]

Oh, what a lovely job, rather you than me ;-)

[digi-birder]

If you need any more vodka, let me know. We have plenty, having been inundated with it by some Polish and Ukraine visitors over on a project my other half is working on. The chilli flavour one might do the trick. We're certainly not drinking any more of the stuff - takes the top of your head off!!