Backwards In High Heels

Busy Whizzee

I have been away from the blog for good reason – I’ve been doing proper work. The new motorsports season is well on its way now and for the last two weekends I’ve had the opportunity to go to a couple of tracks and see some of ‘my guys’ in action. Both times the weather has been very kind and there’s something very relaxing (in my world) about kicking back on a grass bank and listening to the roar of engines.

I am immensly proud of the people I get to work with. Most are young (or young at heart) and its inspiring to see them give their all to their sporting ambition. Not that I tell them this too often, can’t be making them into prima donnas!

At the race last weekend we spotted Shane Lynch in the paddock. Since the end of Boyzone he’s tried his hand at racing. Mum came out with the most lovely back handed complement when she spotted him – “He looks cleaner in real life than on tele.”

So such things have kept me from blogging.

Quick run down on other areas of life

• my wisdom tooth has healed very well.
• The four hand rear kittens are doing wonderfully. They have moved up to the penthouse suite of cat pens and are enjoying the freedom of more space and have begun playing. They are all very clean and already fully litter trained.
• My courgettes have come through very well, as have my sweetcorn, beetroot, salad leaves, spring onions, radishes, various herbs. No sign of french beans or tomatos yet.
• Last night I dreamt Brad Pitt joined the cast of Hollyoaks - I saw a woman who looked identical to Amy Winehouse, only 40 years older. What was doubly freaky was that as I saw her they started playing Rehab over the shop radio. No, No, No.

Over and Out - The Wisdom Tooth That Is

Do you know among the myriad of Carry On films there was no Carry On Dentist?

Which brings me neatly to my wisdom tooth from whom I parted company yesterday afternoon with no bother at all. I have to say my new dentists is a very friendly place and I didn’t feel the least nervous, also helps that my new dentist is very laid back and rather dishy with a look of Rufus Sewell (you don’t get that on the NHS). So I went in calm and collected (well, as I get) visualising an easy extraction.

Injections stung a teeny bit, scale and polish while I numbed up and then the big event of the day. Needless to say my wisdom tooth was placed well back and a bit awkward to get too – yes I know that with a mouth this big you’d expect them to just back a JCB in there and be done with it. But I was very comfortable and can honestly say I didn’t feel a thing, in fact I hadn’t realise Norman was out until he was waved in front of my face.

Yes I asked to keep the tooth which is now named Norman Wisdom the VIIIth.

I’m not sure what to do with him. Naturally when you have any object you are not sure what to do with your first thought is ebay but I couldn’t part with Norman for two reasons. Firstly he is still part of the family and secondly, and more worryingly, he could be bought by a mad scientist who would extract my DNA and clone me to form an army of tea drinking women prone to pmt and an addiction to puns.

Which reminds me, apart from being very proud of myself for being quite a model patients (no tears, no swearing, no eye gauging), I also managed to get through being in a dental surgery without making childish puns about

1 – feeling a little prick

2 – having a large instrument in my mouth

3 – spit or swallow.

Or telling the joke that ends with the punchline ‘I knew you were a dentist cos I didn’t feel a thing’

But I need to get them out of my system so am off to phone Rufus Sewell’s casting agent to offer him a part in my new production - Carry On Dentist…

dentist, dental, extraction, wisdom+tooth, wisdom+teeth, rufus+sewell, Carry+On

Happy Easter

Happy Easter all.

I spent a lot of time being educated at a Convent school in my 'yoof', though not a Catholic, I'm from a family of lapsed Methodists and CofEers. I'm not offering this titbit as an excuse or explanation, though it could be both.

Back to my Easter story. At school a priest said to me in a sombre tone "What was the last thing Jesus said to his disciples on Good Friday?"

I answered, honestly, I didn't know to which he replied "He said 'don't eat all my Easter eggs you buggers I'll be back in a few days!' " and he chuckled away.

With a priest like that and the belief the withdrawl method is a perfectly reasonable form of contraception you can't deny the Catholic Church has a sense of humour...

I got a lot from my Convent education (cue 'bad habits' pun) not least of all I think it is the reason for my fanatical love of Father Ted. Let's take a moment: