Backwards In High Heels: Over and Out - The Wisdom Tooth That Is

Do you know among the myriad of Carry On films there was no Carry On Dentist?

Which brings me neatly to my wisdom tooth from whom I parted company yesterday afternoon with no bother at all. I have to say my new dentists is a very friendly place and I didn’t feel the least nervous, also helps that my new dentist is very laid back and rather dishy with a look of Rufus Sewell (you don’t get that on the NHS). So I went in calm and collected (well, as I get) visualising an easy extraction.

Injections stung a teeny bit, scale and polish while I numbed up and then the big event of the day. Needless to say my wisdom tooth was placed well back and a bit awkward to get too – yes I know that with a mouth this big you’d expect them to just back a JCB in there and be done with it. But I was very comfortable and can honestly say I didn’t feel a thing, in fact I hadn’t realise Norman was out until he was waved in front of my face.

Yes I asked to keep the tooth which is now named Norman Wisdom the VIIIth.

I’m not sure what to do with him. Naturally when you have any object you are not sure what to do with your first thought is ebay but I couldn’t part with Norman for two reasons. Firstly he is still part of the family and secondly, and more worryingly, he could be bought by a mad scientist who would extract my DNA and clone me to form an army of tea drinking women prone to pmt and an addiction to puns.

Which reminds me, apart from being very proud of myself for being quite a model patients (no tears, no swearing, no eye gauging), I also managed to get through being in a dental surgery without making childish puns about

1 – feeling a little prick

2 – having a large instrument in my mouth

3 – spit or swallow.

Or telling the joke that ends with the punchline ‘I knew you were a dentist cos I didn’t feel a thing’

But I need to get them out of my system so am off to phone Rufus Sewell’s casting agent to offer him a part in my new production - Carry On Dentist…