Manners Maketh The (Wo)Man

I have devised a marvellous new fashion to restore manners to the young ladies of our world whilst saving them from chills…

The etiquette petticoat.

It is a petticoat which is printed with all the essential intructions on how to behave with deportment and charm.

You are at a function and don’t know how to address a Bishop or which fork to use. Politely excuse yourself from the company, retire to the toilets, consult your petticoat and there you have it – you return fully armed with the most perfect manners.

And all this whilst having an extra, comfortable layer of warmth to fend of bladder chills.

If any major fashion houses would like to contact me, let manufacturing start. I'm sure the Royal family would order in bulk if they keep marrying commoners in.

Comments

[Marjory]

I would buy!

What about small-talk pants? Could be used in a similar fashion, one could pick out a pair apposite to the social occasion and then, should it prove necessary, crib exciting new conversational gambits from one's gusset.

[Bellezza]

I chanced upon your blog via BuyAFriendABook.com. What a lively sense of humour, and fresh point of view, you present. I really enjoyed the posts I read, and of course, I am a Margaret Atwood fan myself. Although, I prefer Cat's Eye and The Robber Bride to Handmaid's Tale. If you care to chat, drop on by. Nice meeting you, B.

[Stegbeetle]

Lol @ Marjory. If one's gusset is the source for "exciting new conversational gambits" then one would have to be very careful of the circles one moved in. And use indelible ink.

[Beki]

Well I should have known if anyone would lower the tone to the level of gussets it would be Marjory ;o)

Do you think we should take this idea on to Dragon's Den?

People who favour thongs would be very boring indeed...

[Marjory]

Well I should have known if anyone would lower the tone to the level of gussets it would be Marjory ;o)

I am hugely insulted... ;p

Had to look up Dragon's Den, but the idea strikes me as a compelling one.

Thongistas have their own issues. It wouldn't be fair to make them have to have conversations as well.

[Attila the Mom]

Brilliant! You could put the Clift's notes on a thong!!

[Sharon J]

Well that's it then. You're made! Remember your loyal fans when you're raking in the millions, won't you?

[Kate]

"I'm sure the Royal family would order in bulk if they keep marrying commoners in."

They would probably commision you to make an etiquette vest for Prince Philip ;-)