Backwards In High Heels

I Wouldn't Have The Patients (sic or sick)

Back in the day, I was asked if I'd like to move from studying physiology to medicine. I said no. I loved medicine, I loved the theory medicine but I knew I did not have the special X Factor required or the vocation to follow medicine as a career. And, as it is my life took a whole different turning - but's that's another story!

With my health of late and being cared for by the NHS, my admiration for the service, which has always been high, has just soared even higher. It also confirmed my decision was right all those years ago. I have had to sit in wards and waiting rooms with some of the most rude, ungrateful and all round moaning patients in the world (and yes, at times I haven't stayed silent!). No, the system is not perfect, it does not run to clockwork, there are human errors, and there isn't a magic wand. It's a hospital not a hotel.

NHS reforms are a big issue with the coming in of the new Government, as is the idea of the 'big society'. And at some point we (the patient, the customer, the consumer) have to take some of the brunt of why the NHS is hemorrhaging funds and so many staff are demoralised.

When I was staying in hospital my room overlooked A&E, mid-week. At midnight, as I was 8 hours of having to lie flat on my back after the biopsy, some drunken arse decided outside A&E was a perfect place to hold an impromptu concert. Luckily for him I was immobilised as otherwise I could have happily given him a good reason to need a doctor. You see I have no patience. Get yourself in that state and end up in A&E, I'd have you muzzled to keep you quiet and if you choked on your own vomit well tough shit! Not being a doctor was a good idea, eh?!

Last night I watched The Hospital on channel 4 - do this at your own risk of increased blood pressure. Last night was teenagers with no regard for their sexual health whatsoever, no regard for the time and money they were wasting my missing appointments or routinely using services due to repeating stupid and reckless behaviour. They don't want to be told what to do, yet in the last generation have been brought up unable to get off the State's tit and require nannying. Yes we need education, we need intervention but at some point can we stop pussy footing around, some people are just stupid and requiring shaking to their boots.

Going For Gold

Parked at the hospital, in for blood tests (and an unexpected urine test), out and back in the car - 10 minutes! Where's my medal?

If they add this to the disciplines for 2012 I reckon I could get gold....

Boo - but I have a really good excuse for being gone

Yes, there is the faintest pulse left in my blog!

It has been a ridiculously long time since I have blogged but I have a marvellous excuse. I have, well am, proper poorly. I am not going to bore you with the finer details, the hospital stay, and all that but to put it concisely I have a syndrome so rare its only been written up in medical literature 200 times. I am the luckiest person ever as I had a doctor, who is a renowned specialist, who spotted this and got me on the brink of kidney failure. This explains a lot of why for the last year I have been going downhill in a rather random, non specific way. The syndrome has also effected my eyes and for a few months I was just seeing blurs, that is much better now.

At this moment in time I am on very heavy steroid treatment and enjoying a raft of shitty side effects. I will be on this treatment for quite a time I am warned but the specialist is hopeful that he has saved my kidneys and can get them functioning at a good rate once more, though they will always be scarred and something I will have to look after. The eyes are likely to relapse but I know what I amk looking (sic) for and will always jump to treatment quickly to give them the best chance.

The treatment I have received has been nothing short of wonderful. After a stay in hospital my admiration for the NHS has risen even further, and I already had a high opinion of them! We are blessed in this country. No the system doesn't always work and it is stretched and demanded on beyond compare but its heart remains strong.

Another side effect of being so ill is that it gives you a quick kick up the bottom. Suddenly what is important (and what is not) becomes embarrassingly, crystal clear.

It has helped me prioritise my writing again. I am so blessed I work from home and changed one of my main jobs at the start of the year - as they are being brilliant and I am still able to earn whilst recuperating. You also find out who your true friends and allies are. I've relied a lot on the internet not to go stir crazy. Talking on the phone and visitors a pain as I sound a bit slurring sometimes and my body clock is up the spout, yet typing is in speed with my is jointed thinking. I realised I missed my blog and it had been sidelined. I realised I missed talking utter bollocks into cyberspace. So I am making an attempt to come back. I also think it could be a good release on this 'get well' journey.

I will try not to bore you with symptoms, side effects but, it is quite big on the Beki agenda at the moment. I have no intention of facing this with anything other than humour and grit - so there.