Backwards In High Heels

X Marks The Spot

Will someone please explain to me the new etiqutte of the written kiss, X.

It used to be Xs were reserved for loved ones and (hopeful) lovers. It's a kiss after all. Perhaps a x kiss on the cheek for a family member or an X snog for a romance.

Now they are everywhere. I get them on facebook, emails, texts. I get them from family, friends...people I work with.

"Please find attached this month's revenue figures. Thanks, Mr Bloggs x"

Xs used to be exciting. Get an X and you thought cupid was lining you up, but now they get dolled out like ritalin to badly behaved kids...

Anyway hope you are all having a lovely day.

Beki xx

Rejections...I've had a few...

The last episode of Newsjack went out last week but you can listen to it again at www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 and I’m very pleased to say I had a sketch on. In fact I am extremely pleased as for that episode I had two sketches and some one liners make it through to the recording. So that’s three recordings I had material through for and two show credits, which has gee’d me up no end. That last BBC workshop in May is a big part of it I think.

Now, after the joy of getting things through let’s talk rejection! The best lesson I have learnt in recent years is rejection isn’t actually that bad. It wasn’t always the case.

When I was younger and more sensitive (in other words, not the hardened crone of today), the slightest, merest hint of rejection would floor me. Years ago when I first toyed with writing I wrote this big article and sent it unsolicited to a women’s glossy magazine. A few week’s later I had a letter saying sorry, they actually had an article on the same theme in their pipeline, yadda, yadda, yadda and ending with we would like to see any future articles you come up with.

Back then all I saw was a rejection, completing ignoring the end sentence. I was quite sure the end sentence was just added in for the shake of politeness. Editors, producers and what not don’t do that. This isn’t how they make friends, they don’t say ‘send in more stuff’ in the hope you’ll go round for tea and be bosom buddies, it’s about work. They see a glimmer of something, it’s their job to keep an eye on it. I never sent another thing in to them, taking one near miss as meaning I it was all hopeless.

Now, down the line, I have taken all those sayings such as ‘horses for courses’, ‘one man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure’ on board. The rejection may be because tastes differs, the person at the other end has no taste, I’ve missed the theme, there’s better or more relevant stuff in the mix, or bluntly, I’ve presented something which is shite (it happens to quote a bumper sticker). So what?

Rejection is a hurdle not a brick wall. If you’re lucky it’s a hurdle you can step over and get on with the journey, on other occasions you may need to take a running jump at it. Hell if needs be, limbo under it.

Read Dan Tetsell’s wise words (comedy writer & script editor for Newsjack) on the BBC Comedy blog about writing for Newsjack.

Of course all this talk of rejection only applies to writing and creative endeavours. Rejection in your love life is a different kettle of fish and I advocate revenge….usually involving a kettle of fish.

Green eyed monster.

If there is one thing I feel uncomfortable with,it is jealousy. Nothing irritates me more than those people who on hearing x, y or z has happened to you reply 'well it's all right for some'. Grrr. Hard as it is to believe the good things that have happened in my life didn't land there by accident or chance. Quite often those good things can also mask many moments of failure, doubt, fear and disappointment on the way. I don't like to do 'do you know what it took me' routine either as that can easily descend into poor me.

That said last week the green eye monster did raise its head. Someone else had what I wanted and for a moment I seethed with jealously and couldn't bring myself to have the grace to offer them the congratulations they dually deserved.

Thankfully, it was only a few moments until I remembered some wise words from life coach Suzy Greaves (actually she was good fortune that landed in my lap via a competition win!).

There is a healthy kind of envy, the envy where you identify something you want but instead of grumping 'it's all right for some', you twist the envy to be inspiration and allow it to fuel your own ambitions and goals.

I am also a huge advocate of Psychologies magazine - purveyors of sense. Do visit and register at their website www.psychologies.co.uk for some great personality tests which are very insightful. I've just done 'Are you naturally jealous?'. My result...

"You deny that you're jealous at all

You don't seem to show jealousy at all, but this in fact indicates that you have trouble expressing your need for love. Allow yourself to admit when you feel jealous ; it's only natural, after all, to feel jealous now and again."

So perhaps a little green eyed monster every now and then isn't such a bad thing after all.