Backwards In High Heels

Top Gear Meets Delieverence

I laughed until my sides hurt this week as the best comedy on television turned out to be a Top Gear special when they went to America.. Their challenge was to go to America and buy a car for £1000, have a cross country drive then sell the car – thus proving it more profitable than the normal rent a car route.

Of course with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and the best shortarse on the tele, Richard Hammond you knew from the onset sensible would never feature.

The cars they bought were falling apart at the seams, death traps (I take it they don’t have MOTs in America!) but they grew to love them, Jeremy fitting his with an in car shower.

But it is when they were set a challenge in Alabama that the poo poo hit the fan:

I'm A Celebrity Junkie, Get Me Help

It's too late for me. Leave me here and save yourselves.

I turned on to I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here last night, in fact before the first show I was getting a rush of, as yet, unidentified hormones brought about by the prospect of watching minor celebrities get bitten (the best bite being the celebrity back bite of course). I think I will name the hormone celebdraline.

This series has one ingredient for which I can't find a suitable adjective - Mr David Gest. I have no opinion of him one way or another. I only know him as the peculiar looking former Mr Liza Minnelli. Yet his appearance in this show seems to have brought out morbid curiosity in myself, and a large swathe of the viewing public, the same curiosity that would have propelled us to freak shows in Victorian times.

Mr Gest has undoubtedly been drafted in by the programme makers as the token oddity in this reality tv fest. I'm awarding him a positive point from his debut - his very cool handling of Lauren Booth, the PMs sister-in-law and bitchy hack (she may write her CV differently), who had already jibed about him in the press. Surely Tony will be hiring Mr Gest to learn the technique of how to shut the gobby-in-law up?

His fellow celebrities follow the usual pattern, a couple of young ones, gay one, pretty ones, old ones, has-beens, wannabes and should-never-have-beens.

Damn you once celebrity reality tv peddlers, once again you have caught me, 21st century anthropology for the terminally daft.

I'm+a+Celebrity+Get+Me+Outta+Here, I'm+a+Celebrity, reality+tv, David+Gest, Lauren+Booth, celebrity

No Crisis In The NHS!

Phew the NHS is not in crisis and there is proof on BBC.

If you haven’t already seen it, you need to watch Doctors on BBC1, 2pm weekdays. If you work it seems appropriate to through a sickie to watch this weekday soap set in a Doctors surgery in Birmingham.

We follow the lives and tribulations of the doctors and each day usually focuses on a different case.

It’s marvellous, there is never a queue at the reception, the waiting room always has seats and the doctors have all the time in the world. In fact not only do they have all the time in the world, sometimes they see patients and are so concerned they trundle out merrily and do a impromptu home visit afterwards. Or if they see someone even just the littlest bit off colour in the street they pull them into the surgery and they get all the tests done there and then.

I don’t think they’d be interested in my storyline based on my experience of going to a doctor who started a 5 minute timer off as soon as I sat down and abruptly said "go".

nhs, Doctors, Daytime+TV