Backwards In High Heels

A Picture Tells A 1000 Stories.

I just clicked the BBC news story to read about Yahoo's makeover. I think the blank screen with a red cross may be a bit too minimalist...

The Cleavage Never Lies

A new bra has been invented which is designed to give you a boob boost when you are sexually aroused. On paper a marvellous plan. You see Mr Right (Now) and it's hello boys. Supposedly it works with memory foam and detecting a slight raise in temperature.

But surely there is scope for a full on cleavage disaster? You meet Mr Right and after the first flushes of chest heaving everytime you see him, it settles down. You forget your bra is reactionary. Things get serious. Time to meet the parents, you walk in and BOING, Hello Daddy. Not a great start...

And on the matter of things sexual - just had more viagra spam and today's subject line is 'feeling like superman, nothing can stand in your way'. Yes it can, kryptonite which I am sure if you covered with a condom would still floor superman.

OAParenting - The Credit Crunching Answer To Population Regrowth

It's that time again - an 'eugh' story in the news with the report a 66 year old woman is due to be Britain's oldest mother after undergoing IVF abroad.  But maybe she has hit on a credit crunching, environmentally friendly idea to replenish the population.

1 - It will only take one journey to the post office to pick up her pension and the child benefit.

2 -A whole new boom business could be created: mobility scooters-cum-pushchairs. I reckon we could build them at Longbridge thus putting lots of men back into employment

3 - With the older parents taking up the population replenishment, all those of working age can work without the hassle of maternity leave etc. There'll have to be a huge workforce to cope with the increased demand for soft biscuits which is the staple diet of young children and OAPs as they watch daytime TV - another growth area. There'll be new channels like Countdown 24 to launch.

4 - The build up of old person and young baby flatulence in one house could easily be syphoned off and used as an alternative fuel.

5 - There'll come a time when mother and child can share clothes. Mother will think its still in fashion, child will think its 'retro chic'.

6 - When she hits her 80s and her teenage child has to make a decision on where to put her - easy. She can just join them in University halls of residence. She'll feel at home sleeping all day, popping pills and getting so disorientated she pisses in the sink.