I Give Myself Up For Medical Research

(Before I start – my Il Divo review is up at BBC Derby if you want to pop over)

Seven days of wheat filled eating left before the final blood test and then the removal of all things gluten.

Gran (gawd bless her) went straight to the bookshop and has sent me 4 gluten free recipe books. So I am slowly reading up and planning ahead for a life without gluten.

I feel as if my life has been secretly infiltrated by the hell demon of the kitchen Gillian McKeith. Alternatives to wheat read like a pet food shop list. Millet? Millet! Get me a mirror and a bell why not.

But I am hardly going to starve, it is simply a matter of being inventive and imaginative though one very serious wheat free no-no has come to light.

Cake.

Madeira cake, fruit cake, Jonathan Cake.

Mmmm, Jonathan Cake. If I licked him would I bloat (after being arrested and having an injunction served on me)?

I think in the interest of gluten intolerance research I should be allowed to lick Jonathan Cake just so we can all be sure.

And in the interest of scientific integrity I will of course need to lick a control, Daniel Craig, but there again he could set of a slight reaction because he starred in Layer Cake (this must be what they mean about gluten hiding in things you wouldn't imagine).

So perhaps a further control should be introduced, Ewan McGregor.

I am willing to make this sacrifice and risk my own health in the name of medical research.

Tech Tags: coeliac, gluten+intolerance, wheat+intolerance, Jonathan+Cake, Daniel+Craig, Ewan+McGregor

Comments

[Stegbeetle]

It's rare that one finds someone so public-spirited that they are prepared to put themselves through such unspeakable horrors in order to further the cause of medical science. I salute you.

[Attila the Mom]

If there are any leftovers of Ewan, may I have a taste? ;-)

[rhonda]

I'm catching up and have read the last few posts (I'm sorry, I'm a bad blog buddy!). I'm sorry you're feeling punky and hope you get a solid diagnoses and solutions.

In the meantime, what an selfless thing for you to give yourself to medical research ;o)

[Cherrypie]

Are you very sure Mr MacGregor never appeared in an early episode of Cracker? Your life may depend upon it.

[tikkles]

Word up, Beki.

Finally got round to adding your link on my blog - I should be outcast for crimes against blog etiquette, I know.

On the subject of gluten, my mother is actually a cooking teacher, so specialises in such things... Let me know if you're interested.

Oh, and she's nothing like McKeith, which is fortunate for me.

[Ally]

I am prepared to volunteer as a second researcher in order that you can assess your licking results. I would hate for you to go through all that licking stress and not have a control person to compare your results against.

[Beki]

I'm overwhelmed with the support and the bravery of others offering themselves up. I'm proud to know you all!

Tikkles: Thanks for the offer - I may call on your Mum for ideas!

[china blue]

Hey Beki

Not sure what to advise you - I tried going gluten free for a fad diet and lasted 2 hours before eating every single cracker, cake remnant and cat biscuit in the house (the cat didn't mind, she hated them anyway).
I'd like to give it another go, so if you recommend any nice foods once you're officially off the gluten... although I'm sure you'll tell us if you encounter anything truly mingin' :)

[china blue]

Oh, I heard last night from my sister, who's a nurse, that you can get gluten free food on prescription. Did you know this? I didn't.

[Kate]

I didn't see this post last time I dropped by. Hmm, strange.

Anyhow, that is bad news about the cake. Poor you :-(

ps: I volunteer to be another member of the control group - I'll lick Johnny Depp, I'm sure he came into contact with cake when playing Willy Wonka.

[Kate]

ps: The review is great!