Backwards In High Heels

The Book Meme

1. ONE BOOK THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE:
The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton. I remember reading it to myself as a very young child and thinking (a) I was very grown up for reading a book by myself and (b) it totally transported me into a world of make belief and fantasy. It fired my love of reading as a child.

2. ONE BOOK THAT YOU'VE READ MORE THAN ONCE:
I have never read a book more than once.

3. ONE BOOK YOU'D WANT ON A DESERT ISLAND:
The Pop Up Book of Daniel Craig would be an obvious choice. But I suppose you want me to read and not just lust. Mmm, probably A Room with a View.

4. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU LAUGH:
I remember as a teenager reading Tom Sharpe’s Wilt on High on holiday and laughing so hard that I snorted coca cola through my nose in the lounge that evening, much to the bemusement of a group of Italians.

5. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY:
I cried at the end of The Lord of the Rings because I didn’t want it to be over and probably sheer relief I’d waded through it. Stop shouting nerd at me!

6. ONE BOOK THAT YOU WISH HAD BEEN WRITTEN:
I always wish I’d written The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy if only so I could have written Vogon poetry. If you would like a piece of Vogon poetry generated for you click here

7. ONE BOOK THAT YOU WISH HAD NEVER BEEN WRITTEN:
Any z-list celebratry autobiography that fuels the current pointless obsession with celebrity, especially those who have been around for, literally, five minutes. (One exception - Jordan’s exempt as I like Katie Price)

8. ONE BOOK YOU'RE CURRENTLY READING:
I started Small Island in April and have hardly picked it up since, not because it isn’t a great book – it is – but this summer just went tits up and reading got put on the back burner! Just started Angels by Marian Keyes, a freebie with a magazine.

9. ONE BOOK YOU'VE BEEN MEANING TO READ:
I can rival rural libarires with my shelf of ‘to be read’. One book I have never read, yet like most of us know the story inside out, is A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens so I keep meaning to read that to see what the original is really like and were the Muppets faithful to Dickens’ story.

10. TAG FIVE PEOPLE:
Whoever feels like it – go for it!

Six Pack

There are six new reasons why plans may go astray at our house in the coming weeks.

Last week we got a call from the PDSA who opened up to find a cardboard box on their doorstep with the words ‘please help’ written on it. Inside were six kittens. Of course when asked if we could help and take them in for handrearing the decision took all of a millisecond. And a quick moment to applause the PDSA who do a great job.

The kittens, four black and two grey, are about two and a half weeks old and in very good condition. I know some people will want to rush to chastise whoever left the kittens but not me, at least it was in a sensible place and not the canal and showed some concern. I just hope the mother cat is being well looked after and gets spayed.

So here are some photos to seriously up the cute factor of my blog and reduce all of you to cooing.

kitten, kittens, cat, cats, animal+welfare, PDSA, handrearing

The Foody Police

Today I was subjected to, not for the first time this month, supermarket queue shame mongers.

It’s been a long week, a stressful week at times and I self medicate this with chocolate. Not drink, drugs or sex but chocolate, which is cheaper and at least has the chance of being fairtrade. I have yet to hear of Fairtrade cocaine or male gigolos whose willies have been blessed for trade use by St Geldof.

I digress.

How come the day you want one or perhaps several treats in your trolley, you have to unload them onto the checkout belt under the eagle eyes of a supermarket snidy? The snidy in question always looks as if they have just smelt something bad and you know she has a rebounding membership of a slimming club in case, God forbid, she gains half a pound on holiday (“I just went mad and pigged out, look at me, my trousers are staying up without a belt, I’m hideous”)

The down the nose glance of disgust as I place another chocolate bar on the belt.

I have found always buying a nine pack of toilet rolls helps. This can be placed halfway down the belt and you can slip the ‘baddies’ in front of the Andrex Wall whilst broccoli and cauliflower can be put to the rear in sight of Miss Food Perfect to try and deflect some of her shame inducing eye rolls. Up hers, it will all get smoothed in a cheese sauce at home in defiance, even the toilet rolls.

The food police are now going to target children’s packed lunches. I felt for a mother on the news today whose daughter came home upset after having her jaffa cake confiscated from her otherwise textbook packed lunch. The fallout from this I believe will be:

(1) I bet the teacher’s eat all confiscated biscuits in their smoke filled staff room. (2) The street value of the Jaffa Cake will rocket above crack. Gang members will be shot in biscuit wars as the Penguin pushers move in on the Wagon Wheel suppliers turf.

chcolate, biscuits, supermarkets, supermarket+queues, food+police, jaffa+cakes